Summer Night

It was scolding hot, not unusual for a May night. She laid in her bed, curled in a delightful and comfortable “S” shape. One arm rested on her forehead and one knee on top of the other, she was hardly fully conscious. Sleep was so tantalizing but that was all it was, never allowing her to actually succumb to it. The dry heat was trapped within the small rectangular bedroom, escaping only through the small gap of the window. She wouldn’t open the window anywhere past the safety latch and the blinds were drawn to halt the harsh moonlight. The room should have been black but dull light swarmed out from a delicate laptop next to her, which was rotated in a way that it fitted neatly within one of the curves of her position. Scarcely audible music sprang from the earbuds left on top of the keyboard. She had her songs on shuffle and one of the classical songs that she had always meant to delete from her library began to play. She left it on. From one of the dark corners, a mildly illuminated fan blew out whatever breeze that it could from its “low setting” mode. Her loose nightwear caught whatever wisps of air that it was offered but her bare legs became ironically cold despite the inescapably warm weather. The tips of her toes reminded her of winter but she didn’t bother covering them with the bundled up blankets on the far end of the bed. Eventually, her heavy eyelids led her gaze to fall onto her body and her lazy consciousness wandered about the distinct curves brought on by the soft lighting. Her feet disappeared somewhere into the dark but the roundness of her calfs were glowing and lean. She silently admired them until modesty reclaimed her even in semi-consciousness. But irresistibly, she wondered if this is what her husband would see her as someday when she would curl up next to him. She felt a warmth develop in her cheeks and she knew it wasn’t the summer night. She immediately rolled over onto her shoulder and away from the light so that she would face the dark and the fan would cool her face. But with the additional breeze, she decided it was too cold and she lifted herself from the bed to turn the fan off. Then, as the panels of the fan quieted with its slowing rotations, the only sound in the room was the soft orchestral music that was obviously and gradually bringing the piece to an end. When the last note played its full, she turned that off too. She kept the laptop on next to her to covet the gentle glow it offered. Quietly, she restated in her mind that she was alone and that, with a fast glance at the clock on the nightstand, it was already tomorrow. With that roaming in her mind, she tried once again to coax sweet slumber to take her. This time, perhaps, with a little bit more luck.

Music

Happiness is the kingdom

where music is born

Vacation

I wonder how much it would take for me to just lay on my bed in my room, all the windows and doors open, and listen only to the familiar steps down the hall dancing to barely audible music.

Sonnet 10

by William Shakespeare

For shame deny that thou bearst love to any,

Who for thyself art so unprovident,

Grant if thou wilt, thou art beloved of many,

But that thou none lov'st is most evident,

For thou art so possessed of murdr'ous hate,

That 'gainst thyself thou stick'st not to conspire,

Seeking that beauteous roof to ruinate,

Which to repair should be thy chief desire,

O change thy thought that I may change my mind,

Shall hate be fairer lodged than gentle love?

Be as thy presence is--gracious and kind,

Or to thyself at least kind hearted prove,

Make thee another self for love of me,

That beauty still may live in thine or thee.

Catch Up

For you to catch up to me, you'd have to walk backwards.

Haiku

Wonder as I may,

I find no happiness here,

Therefore I move on.

Life and Death

I fear death. But I fear life even more.

Torturous

This method of torture, ah, how much greater it becomes when silent, when no words travel and instead, infecting the soundless space. And I, foolish as I am, let it drag on. I say nothing, and nothing was all that mattered. Oh, yes, innocent nor guilty was I to accept this punishment. And yet, I endured. This torture. When will it end?

Dissatisfaction

Unfulfilled greed is easily one of the most torturous condemnation. While greed itself may very well become the destruction of mankind, leaving these wants unsatisfied drives the very nature of humans into a state of depression and hopelessness. This feeling, so incredibly powerful, can only be avoided by rare peoples, who are born without the sweet taste of luxury and only the dullness of the mundane. These people, often in the lower portions of society, will thrive as a whole and survive in which those addicted to this dangerous drug will not.

Mistake

In that brief moment, in that short time that should not have implicated such a heavy wound, I made a single mistake. One that is so irreversible, so permanent, and so...unforgettable. That momentary breath of air, that tick of the secondhand, spilled a stain onto the thread that is my life. A chain of events that shouldn't have happened and yet, did. The loud clang as the chain is broken and then latched onto another. This rang in my ear, echoing, torturing me. Then, a rush of thoughts drowned my head and I questioned myself. Why? Still, as this inevitable truth reached me, I walked away.